You Give, But Do You Get?

Somebody once told me don't expect to get what you give. They also told me anyone worth having would give you more than you ask for. Smart man that guy. I have recently been reflecting on my life and the things I have in it. Who? Who is in my life that brings me something that I can bring back to the relationship? I don't mean materialistic things. I am talking about the bigger things, love, friendship, communication, realness, honesty, trust, etc. Things that cannot be measured by some financial standing. Things that are more than just words, but actions. It left me wondering, do you always get what you give?

I am not one to sit here and ponder the what ifs in my life, I have far too many things to reminisce about. The one who treated me like a princess, I didn’t really appreciate him. The one who made me feel like I was always perfect, I did not see the same perfections. It is funny how life works, like some kind of movie you are stuck in. Only don't we write our own script? If we do, why aren’t we finding our own happy endings? Not the kind a Hollywood movie gives, I am far from believing those exist. Something better, like what if we are our own hero? Now, that would be a movie worth writing.

 I often find I give more to most of my relationships than I receive. Again, not the financial stuff, just more of me, more of my heart, my passion, my energy... It’s like I put it all out there in an effort to remind them I am worthy, all while I forget my own worth. I was in a relationship for 4 years with a man who I love with my whole heart. However, I knew there was something missing on his side recently. However, I loved him so much I held on to the hope it would fix itself if I just kept giving. Trying not to see by the last six months of our relationship, we were more like friends than lovers. Don’t all relationships have challenging times? Doesn’t love somehow pull threw? In the end, he broke up with me, and I was left devastated once again by this man. Yes, again... that is a story for another time. 

 As I pick up the pieces of my broken heart and find a way to mend it once again, I can’t imagine my life without him in it. This is the part where I get to be my own hero. I am not sure what that looks like, but I am sure to have an incredible cape and some kind of superpower, probably armed with a bottle of wine. In the end, we must be able to save ourselves. So, here is to being my own hero, giving myself all that I give to others. Isn't that what we all should be doing? Giving more to ourselves! I think so. 





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