Tiny Lil Thing Called Fear

I recently read that "Fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy". I wasn't certain exactly what was meant by that until now. It led me to question my own fears. What is your greatest fear? Is it facing the unknown? Failure? Heartbreak? Something worse? 

Fear is something so real, it can easily hold you back even paralyze you. I hadn't thought I was afraid of anything, other than losing my family, death and heights. However, recently I realized one of my biggest fears is to need someone and actually admit it. It seems so trivial, yet this fear nearly destroyed me and it certainly hindered me emotionally. It became something I had to face and recognize and of course this always happens a bit late.  The fear that I could need someone so much and they could leave, is terrifying to me. So, what happens when you realize your own fear can destroy the thing or person you love? Do you run for cover and try to avoid the blast, or do you face your fear head first, with your heart on the line?

 I hurt the someone I love immensely out of fear. What I did is not as important as the consequences of my actions. I have apologized, but that is the thing about an apology it doesn’t erase what was done. I am not certain anything can repair the damage I caused. Sort of like an atomic bomb hitting the earth, some damage is irreversible. I have had to realize that my own fear was possibly my own demise. Do I hope that among the wreckage there is a way to salvage what I destroyed? Possibly, repair it and make it more beautiful than it was. I pray for that, but if not I will have sealed my fate with my own fears that is the consequences. 

I started writing about this tiny lil thing called fear in an effort to confess my shortcomings. What I hope is will help someone else realize their fears and face them before it is too late. Fear is a crazy little thing, it sits in the back of your mind hiding, almost unnoticeable until it is too late. Most of my posts have some snarky underside to them. Something to lighten the moment... There is nothing I can say to lighten this one.  I have seen the damage, assessed the pain I caused and know that my fear hurt someone I never wanted to hurt. 

What I can say is this, if we are able to rebuild or not I will never let my fear hold me back again. I won’t hide behind it and use it as a crutch. Fear is not an emotion, it is not real, it is something you hold onto to protect yourself from the unknown. My advise... Jump from that plane, take that leap of faith, for you never know what is waiting on the other side!